This really isn’t the Onion

12 02 2009

“Move over Pepsi and Coke, there’s some new competition on the shelf.

India’s Hindu nationalist movement is launching a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink — called “gau jal,” or “cow water” — in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched “very soon, maybe by the end of this year.”

“Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told the Times of London from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy. It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”

The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS – which was founded in 1925 and now claims 8 million members – to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.”

source (I can’t believe I just linked to FOXNews…eww)

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4 responses

13 02 2009
Space Bar

I don’t even want to think about what they’re going to use in place of Permitted Class II Preservatives.

13 02 2009
km

Why buy it bottled when you can just drink from the, er, tap?

13 02 2009
blackmamba

I am just going to assume that they will source the raw materials from grass-fed happy cows and not those scrawny ones wandering the streets in cities, risking their lives to eat those film posters.

14 02 2009
anonandon

Corny joke alert! This is what comes of being constantly pssed off. :-D

On another note, this might be the RSS trying to learn from other cultures, namely that of the Parsis who drink cow urine in their confirmation-type ritual and they have that fish-shaped sweet (I forget its name) which has cow urine in it. I live in hope that they’ll move on to adding wine and wafers to the RSS menu card.

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